you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
