Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
