Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
