How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
