nut hugger
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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