you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
These tits shall not be calmed
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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