I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
