It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
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YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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