i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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