Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It's never too late to be topless.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
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