I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
