dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
