i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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