I bet he comes in French.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I need to calm my uterus...
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
