Umm I'm too high to move.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
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I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
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I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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