Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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