dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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