her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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