i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
