So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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