think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
