I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
