No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
