hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
