I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
