I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please don't give away my fajitas
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
