don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.