Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They are going to name an STD after you.