Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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