Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.

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(732): Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab. http://tfl.nu/smzr

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(310): View more from California

Swine flu. Run for my life!

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(310) Swine flu. Run for my life! http://tfl.nu/6pt3

Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (457) Order T-Shirt
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(281): View more from Texas

wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery

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(281) wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery http://tfl.nu/mwr2

Replies (6) Good night (1683) Bad night (965) Order T-Shirt
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(718): View more from New York

don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.

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(718): don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time. http://tfl.nu/80vr

Replies (5) Good night (1926) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
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(480): View more from Arizona

This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi

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(480): This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi http://tfl.nu/fvjc

Replies (23) Good night (4012) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.

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(570): Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice. http://tfl.nu/vtyg

Replies (31) Good night (1087) Bad night (4581) Order T-Shirt
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(908): View more from New Jersey

this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.

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(908): this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up. http://tfl.nu/ay5l

Replies (33) Good night (1189) Bad night (5105)
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(408): View more from California

You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.

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(408): You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree. http://tfl.nu/igom

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(910): View more from North Carolina

In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.

(919): View more from North Carolina

RIP Mr Bojangles.

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(910): In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic. (919): RIP Mr Bojangles. http://tfl.nu/00j7

Replies (13) Good night (1039) Bad night (1967)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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(609): He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies. http://tfl.nu/y08j

Replies (5) Good night (672) Bad night (1129)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.

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(412): Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out. http://tfl.nu/chur

Replies (10) Good night (3976) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.

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(709): I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking. http://tfl.nu/va6a

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(425): View more from Washington

Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.

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(425): Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now. http://tfl.nu/y7g1

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(847): View more from Illinois

She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night

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(847): She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night http://tfl.nu/5dv7

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(417): View more from Missouri

I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

I think I might cry.

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(417): I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully. (1-417): I think I might cry. http://tfl.nu/g5az

Replies (10) Good night (306) Bad night (791) Order T-Shirt

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