you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
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When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
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I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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