My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
