she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
