My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
