The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
