So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
