who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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