why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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