Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
