So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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