No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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