can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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