i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
