Sry I called you an 8
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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