I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
