I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
