I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize