My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
