for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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