the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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