is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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