with your own penis?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize