And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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