Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
