It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
