hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
love makes seman taste better
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
