Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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