i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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