; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
