I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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