So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
