I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
