I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
