I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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