My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
