I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
