i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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