just come out here and I will go home with you...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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